So I want a parallel to Sexy, that has ND talking about their sex appeal or s/t, and Kurt says something that has Santana rolling her eyes and saying “Please, your twelve year old milkmaid look basically SCREAMS virgin, what do you know about sex appeal?”

And Kurt gives her a massive bitchface while Blaine is all “I happen to think Kurt’s very sexy” and the rest of them just kind of ignore him and look uncomfortable

so the next day Kurt tuns up for the assignment, and he’s head to toe in black and leather and boots, with his eyes all dark and his hair all spiky everywhere

and he grabs a chair and pulls it to the front and winks at Blaine and sings For Your Entertainment, complete with chair straddling and his hands running down his body and tangling in his hair, throwing his head back and growling and moaning and rocking his hips and if it was possible to have sex with a song he’s doing it

and when it’s over everyone’s staring and Blaine’s flushed and red and Puck’s mouth is hanging open and Finn’s hiding his eyes because “dude you’re my brother!”

then Puck gets up and high fives him and is all “damn Hummel!” and Kurt just shrugs and sits beside Blaine looking all smug, and he pulls him in to whisper, “You get a private show later,”

and Blaine grins and replies “can I take the place of the chair this time?”